Intuition On the Rx

Discussing the emotional dangers of ignoring our intuition. Me and my BFF Laura discuss how to overcome relationship situations and how to feel better. When you listen to your intuition you will feel happy, but if you choose to ignore it, a wave of uneasiness may come over you. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

[inaudible]

Speaker 2: 0:23

[inaudible] differently. Right. So, hi babes. We're back. And tonight I'm here with Laura again. She came back. I didn't scare her off. Laura has brought us some wine tonight. So we are doing, I'm drinking a red cab. It's velvet moon. It's really good. And I'm having, Oh, it's white. It's constant. Dino. And it's a Pinot Grigio with bubbles. Peanut green here, which is very new. Yeah. Seco. It's not that Perseco so dry. Don't you think? Yeah. This is, this is really good. Trader Joe's. Yeah, I like it. Oh my God, I shopped there. I love trader Joe's for a lot of things. Mainly like fruit and vegetables because if you go fruit sit like at another place, it's like totally, I don't know, sprayed with toxins or probably poison. We're finding out all this stuff now. You know? So, um, tonight we're talking about intuition and the dangers of not listening to our intuition. So this is danger on the rocks. I mean, your intuition. I love talking about intuition. I do too. You know why I love talking about it because I don't listen to it, which sounds kind of hypocritical, but it's really like, I really do go against myself. I think we all do. Y'all do. We all do. I think that's something that we have to watch out for because we're often told you're being paranoid. We tell each other that as women, like we say, Oh well you're, you're overthinking this, you're over analyzing this. You're, maybe you're just being paranoid or, you know, I've never said that to a woman that she's paranoid or she's overthinking. I listen, I don't always believe it. Like you and I were talking the other day when I was telling you about what I was going through, you were like, I'm to be really honest, because you would know we have to, and I, I, there's not many people that I could be honest with then that's why Laura is here with us because she is honest. I can say to her, no, I don't want to do that. Or I can say, you know, I don't like, I don't like that you said this, which I never really had. I never really have, but I know that if I did say that, it wouldn't be a problem. You'd be like, Oh, I'm sorry honey. So thank you for being that friend because there's not a lot of people you can do that with. You know that. Yeah. And you're so honest. You're like so honest. A little too honest. I think that needs to be more of that because of what we were talking about doing life with a relationship or with the, and not only, um, a love relationship, a friendship. Um, only relationship. Yeah. For real. A brother or brothers, sisters or mom. Yeah. Moms love your mama and I'm telling the same birthday. So, yeah. So, um, I think with the whole intuition and relationships, we don't listen to the, the first time that it's work, we're feeling like, you know, this isn't right. I shouldn't be here. I really don't like this. I don't like the way this feels. And I love how you're always like, yeah, it's kind of weird that you're doing, you know that. Yeah. People do that. That's kind of weird. And it's like, um, yeah, we did it anyway. And I think everyone feels it like differently. Some people call it spidey senses, we'll get a tingling, some people feel it physically, I think. And some people feel intellectually, some people feel like the tingling sensation in their body. And then some people are like, wow, this sounds so weird. Like what if they can't make sense of it? You try to make sense of your relationships. Yeah. And the reason why we're having this conversation, and I was like, Laura, we have to do a podcast on this right now because she came over. We're having a girls and night and Laura, if you don't mind me saying, you were saying like you haven't watched you because you've been inundated and old school and doing your thing. Yeah, I'm really busy. So just by chance I had started watching this show you. Yeah. And so that's how it came up. I was like, Oh my God, I was watching this show. And it was insane how the guy, the narcissist, you could see the thoughts were behind what he does and how he does it and why he does it and how he feels about it. It's such a great show. That's why we're talking about here because I said, Oh, we have to watch it. Because before, before I said that we had like a 20 minute conversation. Right, right. We had a big conversation about, um, trusting your intuition and um, really picking up on what your body and your mind is saying to you when the evidence in front of you doesn't match up. Yeah, it does. And then we do it again and again. It's not because you said this earlier, that was really good. It's not because men don't lie to us to protect us. No, they don't. And I said they do it to protect them. And we were, we were both on the same page with that, but it really has to do with us more. We feel it. It's like that we make them think that they're smart because we know, we know when that feeling comes up and you know, something doesn't feel right and they're lying to you, you know, where you're like, Oh, okay. It's not that bad. Or maybe, yeah. I mean, we, we really downplay the signals that we're getting, getting the signals, you know, we're, we're receiving signals all the time from other people, whether it's energy. So, you know, like we live off energy, so how's it going to be? Yeah. So are you going to give me some bad, you know, false energy and then I'm going to feel that and then I'm going to be like, wow, this doesn't match up with what you're saying and what you're doing doesn't match up. When I, when I had, um, my, one of my lawyers who I love very much, she had to, I was so paranoid going in there and I was like, and this and this like, and she's like, just, it's okay. Just, we're gonna, we're gonna catch up, we're gonna find everything. But I know this, I knew this. And she said, and I said, but he's not. He's saying it's not true. And she said, listen to me, if you think it, it's happening. So I want everybody to know, man, woman, if you think something's wrong, something's wrong. And I just posted this on my story about how perfect, it's dangerous to fuck with emotions like your own. And I know I've screwed with my own emotions and I shouldn't. Like we were, we just shouldn't we, we sacrificed so much for some buddy who's kind of idiot, I don't know. I'm sorry. But if someone is gonna think that they're smarter than you and try to bring a fucking XL spreadsheet to prove that they're not cheating on you anymore, you know? And here's what we have on that. Like that's a size that is rare. It is weird. And you know what's really weird is that it's happened more than once to more than one woman or person. Okay. It's weird. That is, this is interesting because you know how it was, I've always said like, there's gotta be some playbook. Like where's the ma? They all have this master plan. Oh yeah. You always did that. Okay, but get this, it's not about a master playbook. They all have a fucking personality disorder. And that's how people with personality disorders act. That's how they operate. And that's not to say that we're not saying everybody has a personality disorder. We're saying, do you, I mean we're all pretty much narcissist. We have to be at some degree, but there's the intentional hurtful. I mean if the ones that we, I would like to wipe clean and go, listen, you guys, the fucking gig is up or the GS, the jig is up.[inaudible] I haven't taken it up. We've got to get on book. Exactly. So get some fucking help. Yeah. I don't know if they will, but it doesn't matter. The point you go point is there has to be some sort of attention to it. Attention, you know? Do you remember what I was saying earlier about, um, we don't say anything about how we do when we're dealing with this person. Okay. One thing is you're in your community going through a divorce. This should hits you like a betrayal, right? Slap him. Oh yeah. All of a sudden, it's like you go to the market and you don't want to go to the market because you feel like shit, but you haven't been out of the house in weeks. So when you go to the market and someone's like, Oh, Hey, how are you? You're like, I'm good. How are you? We have to say, no. I'm so happy to see you because you're such a good friend, or we need to ask for help. And it's hard. It's the hardest thing to do because it's like you were saying earlier about being frowned upon, set up in life, in our culture, our culture is to make sure everything's fine. And we see that so much on social media, how everyone wants to paint this picture of this perfect life and it's very curated and cultivated. And then you've got those wildcards that are really telling you the truth. And some people think they're like a total, like they're out there, they're out of control. Um, but they attract the most people because they're very authentic. So that's probably why you're attracting so many people to your own Instagram is because it's relatable. There's no space for anyone to be authentic about how they're really doing. Yeah, it's important. And I'll, I've always said that ever since I was young, I don't, I was always in our anti-bullying program in high school. Like I protected, you know, the handicap kids and I would play with them on the court and my mom used to get letters and I mean I used to stick up for them and fight for them and I was always like, you know what, there's no reason to be mean. So when, so when that came up for me later on in life that, that I would say that is what came up for me from my childhood. You don't have to be mean. Like that's not okay, but our culture is saying no, it's okay because they don't know. They know. They do. They do know. And, and I ended up maybe if they, let's just say they don't know. I know. And I, so I've always done that. I've been in the community and family facilitator for anti bully program and I just think that I've always been that person. So when it came in front of me dealing with a bully who's telling me that I'm a bully and I'm like, Oh, I don't know, I sit, I stand up bullies. But no, it doesn't feel right. But I just kept knowing that that didn't sit right with me and it, and it won't, I think that we have sort of an internal, um, like a emergency brake, you know, it can't go that you can't go on with inauthenticity, you know, forever. You just can't, it will, you know, all, as much as you try to not listen to the voices or feel the things they come out in other ways. And that's when you get like addiction and people doing all these other things because they're not facing what's in front of them and what's real and what's true. And I was always raised that way. My, my family, they, we all laughed at it, ourselves and each other. And so when you, when you go into another family dynamic and you're not feeling those good feelings that you had before and you ignore that something's wrong. Like, you know, we need to start saying this doesn't feel right. Not necessarily confront but protect. We need to protect each other as women and men. I protected, I protect my boys, my husband, I protected him. But lo and behold, I found out that that's all he's been doing is talking shit about me. Which you know what, I don't care cause I would do it anyway, whether it, he is who he is.[inaudible] our protector. You're loyal to your family. You know, you, you're, you're supposed to be a house with walls and windows, windows for people to look in, but walls to keep around your family to keep them protected. When you let someone into your house that's not part of your family, you know, and then you go off in some other room and there's no windows, you know, that's kind of how like, you know, a fair start when they start having side conversations with other people. When you start doing that kind of thing and you, you're, you've got some issues that you haven't resolved and you're wanting attention and you don't even know how to communicate it. And this is why we get to where we get because we're not talking about real feelings, real issues together or with our friends so that we can like stop this quickly. We're just pretending everything's fine. Like pulling the emergency brake up. Like you said, like there was a time, I remember when I was probably about 16 I was in this car with my boyfriend and my cousin was in the back. She was in a car, like a first cousin. She's like a second or third cousin. I remember seeing my boyfriend looking at her through the rear view mirror. I was a little bit like, what? No, that's not, I'm just a man. I'm, I can't be seen this. This can't be true. Right. It was the weirdest thing cause it was on a weekend. And then that Monday I went to school, one of the kids was like, Oh, you know, did you know that your boyfriend slept with your cousin? I was like, Oh my God, yes. I didn't know that. So[inaudible] I knew it was going to happen. But my point being is at 16 teen we tell your daughters because at 16 we have an intuition. We know we S what we're seeing. Then we talk ourselves out of it. Not as a lot to do with, you know, naturally it's a S it's a scary thing to be a mother because you, you have to protect, you have to make, you know, our kids are an extension for some, you know, their extension of parents and not that they are, cause I don't think they are separate little people, little people. Yeah. And those are the best people because they're the closest to being born, you know, into this awful, this really interesting time. Yeah. You always live in an interesting time. Yeah, it's true. And I've recently been, and I, I never thought I would say this, but I recently been grateful for what's happened because of where I am now. Like I'm really, really happy to remember I texted you that picture today. We're like gesturing each other. You can't see it. We're like, yes. Pretty soon you'll be able to see the tapes. It's theirs. And I text her that picture and I was like, I think I would. You're still happy. Yeah. And when you move on from something that you know now you're aligned with your actions, your words and your feelings, your intuition, you're aligned with everything. And so now you feel light and you know, you can just take on what's coming at you. You can see it when you honor your intuition, when you honor what's going on with you. Yeah. And there's, there's a couple things that I've been really in tune with and that's noticing the thoughts that come up around the mind. You know, my mind saying, Oh my God, I miss him, mom, this is so sad. If you really sit down in the thick of it and think about what you went through, what you did, what he said, how he treated you. You don't miss that. Oh no. So that's the mind, the mind, the monkey mind that's saying that. Yeah. Do you, did you ever explain monkey mind to people? No. Okay. Just set it for the first time. But you know what it is, right? It's a Buddhist thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's a, you know where your mind just jumps from one branch to another and it's very hard for you to focus and it's usually when something distressing happened and you can't get the quiet and so that, and sometimes like a crisis, like a divorce or a bad breakup. Especially with teenage girls, kids, I mean it's very challenging to see the like the end result, even as an adult. Even for me it was, so when I try to think about, okay, what, why am I thinking this? Why? Why would I, why would I miss that? He did this, this and this and made me feel this, this and this. Okay. Then, then I can try to send her and say, okay, that's not real, but that's just the monkey mind or that's that's the habit or, yeah. You know what, like this is part of the process. Yeah, for sure. This is part of the process. You, your mind when you are confronted with actions and words that don't line up, your mind has to process that and it goes over the same things over and over again until you, you've, you're ready to move on and release it. And it's really part of the divorce process because I remember being in that place and I, so I can sit here and I can empathize with you and I can totally remember that, but I don't experience that at all whatsoever anymore. So there's light at the end of the tunnel. And if you would've told me this and I was in your place, I wouldn't have believed you because it happens so often and it was so painful. And you know what? You're right. Thanks for saying that. Because there are stages, right? Like I met this the beginning, beginning of finally starting to feel a little bit better. But today I will say I was in line at the, with my daughter getting her dress and all of a sudden it just like an overwhelm. I got really hot and like perspiring and I was like, Oh my God, I, I don't have a husband. Like I'm, it's weird. It wasn't like I felt like it was just scary. Almost like a panic attack. Yes, yes. And then I was about that. And then I was like, well wait, I get to go home and just by myself and do what I want to do and not be thrown all over the place. Not thrown physically. I mean thrown like, did you do that or did you do this or you know, that mentality, overload relationship as what I like to call it. So I, I've tried to redirect the energy, like you were saying, we're energy, right? Redirect the energy from, you know, thinking of where the thought comes from. And then once I had that thought, started panicking and I was like, okay, wait, I got to just calm down. So I have to like forgive myself for that overwhelming panic that I bring on myself because it's, well, we all did. Like I said, it's a process and I'm sure like everyone that's listening can totally relate to it. Get to it. Yep. I didn't know if you, if I could not have this conversation about this three months ago, I would not have been thinking that. I just would think it's his fault. I can't believe that he's done this. That's what I'm fine. But like I, it's not like, um, it's, it's always we're moving every single day. If you keep moving and know that you're going to be okay and have, and try to quiet your mind, think about where you are and where you are. Oh my God. I mean, hang on. You know where you are and where you were. It's, it could be different for everybody. You know, where you were and where you are now is much different than where I am now from where I was for everybody. But my point is we're all like in different stages. And I want to just like, I want people to start talking about the stage at, because that's the, we need to normalize. We need to normalize this, like, and take the stigma away from being in this, that success for people is not a marriage and two kids, that is not the definition of your personal success does not make you who you are. And so there's this, you know, because we, we put in this marriage supremacy, we've, you know, made it kind of feel shameful and stigmatic to talk about the realities of what happens when you're no longer United with that person. But you said that because that is, that is true. It's like the whole, Oh, I'm going to grow up and marry and I'm not going to get done. But it's just not, it's not. And it could be, but it might be, and it's totally fine if that's what you want and, but it doesn't, you know, that's separate from you being a success or failure in life. You know? And it's something that, uh, as we teach our, our, our girl children, we really, really put it out there and lay it on thick that, you know, the ultimate would be to marry a Prince. You know, Disneyland happened, heirs, Cinderella. So we really, we do a number on ourselves and our, and our girls and we tell them this, you know, this is the ultimate being, becoming a princess is the ultimate thing. But it doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't, and it's great that the culture is changing and shifting and we're talking about women being an entrepreneur. That's the success. Being peaceful and where you are, you know, running your own company. Yeah. Being like, well like us where you are now from where you were, you're peaceful. Exactly. That's your success. Mine is absolutely success of I am where I am now. I made it through you made it through a lot of us make it through and that's why I love the Instagram because there's so many women out there that are on my Instagram that are so fucking smart. So have been there, done that. And they're on there and they're helping other women and they're helping me. It's important to have those mentors, like you were saying, the mentors and the mentee. Yeah. It's like having someone that's walked this path before you to look forward to and then you can choose again. You can choose something different than what you have in the past. And I think that that's, that's like the big takeaways. Like you can notice your thought, forgive your thought and then choose again and just keep choosing. But keep choosing you, you know, don't choose for someone else. And if you, if anyone wants to know what that looks like, you can DM me. You can leave the link in the bio. And I mean, because this was so important for me. I don't know why. It just was like, Laura, we have to do it. We have to do this right now. Cause it was so fresh. And sometimes I feel like I have content that I want to talk about. So I write notes down, but two days later I don't feel the same way. You know what I mean? So, Oh yeah. That's interesting. So I feel like, eh, I'll wait til, you know, something comes up and I, so I like to do things in the moment and, and just be real about everything and trust me, the woman at the market that you haven't seen in two months and you've thought, wow, that's kind of weird. I haven't seen her and her husband. I wonder if, if you're thinking it, it's happening. Just Hey, how are you? I think you said that. Yeah. Like when you check in with me. Yeah. Just checking in, just checking. Hey man, how was your day? Like when you don't hear from your friends and you know that they're going through stuff, they are having a hard time asking for help or reaching out because we've set it up that way. So let's set it up a different way. Yeah. And so when we set it up, it's like we do it to ourselves because I feel like, Oh, I don't want to, yeah. I don't want to bother them. Yeah. Even when you check in with me. I know. I already know though. Yeah. I sit down, I'm like, yeah. Anyway, like I really want to sit there and like go off the go, this is what's happening. But then I feel like I don't want to be that person that is always complaining or, but, but then we have to think you're being announced for reasons so, right. So when people reach out to you, accept the help and then when you reach out to someone, just know that it's, it's not that they're not responding because they don't want to talk to you about it. It's just cause I think it's still painful. Yeah. It's, it is painful sometimes and sometimes, and sometimes you want to be by yourself in it and really private. And that's just part of the process too. That's totally like, okay. And it's totally part of the process to sit with yourself and your feelings. And that's good because you've been with someone and kind of relying on them for so long to like talk about stuff that you forget how to rely on yourself. And so it's really important to have that time to and to like really like, you know, look inward and say, look in more than not overanalyze, but like look inward and just calm yourself down, like you said, and forgive yourself. Calm yourself down and step back into your intuition. Because the closer you get to listening to yourself and your own intuition, the further way you will get from people that have personality disorders that are harmful to you. And that's like what I really learned about intuition going forward is the time speeds up where you can really see who someone is when you start listening to yourself more. Yeah. And, and you, when you stop to think about, you know, what, why am I thinking this while you're thinking this because this happened, this happened and it didn't feel right. So what are you going to do now? Well, I have to forgive myself for not doing something about that, but I need to make a different choice, you know? So it's kind of really important to me to, to get the message out that way. Because in life it's such a life is really beautiful. I mean if you think about all the things, nature and everything, I mean people, I love people. I always curious about what people are doing or you know, who they are. And I think that if we can get more connected to each other in, in a, in a way that we can communicate honestly and authentically, especially women like we would, it would be such a beautiful place. Like I think the, in my Instagram is like such a beautiful place cause I feel like there's just, just this Bay, it's like a big huge Rose garden of women and men who are protecting each other because we just, men don't protect women anymore and women need to protect each other and we have to protect ourselves. And these three steps really help start to protect yourself and remind yourself who you are, where you came from. Like, yeah, your intuition is your emergency or internal emergency brain. It is the thing to tell you, Hey, stop, look, listen. You know? Yeah. And maybe you can take that if you have children and take that to your children and talk to them about intuition. Say your intuition is a little voice in your head that says, stop, look, listen, and don't, and I want to stress this so I don't want to say don't, but I want to stress so much that when a child or a friend or somebody comes to you and says, you know, I've been, I've been having these weird thoughts or these weird feelings, even though you want to push them away from yourself because I know I've done that. When I've had these thoughts, I'm like, Oh, I don't want to think that. I don't want to think that. So if somebody comes to me and says it, I'm like, Oh, well, just be positive. Just try to get over it. Be positive. No, you have to say, yeah. What was it like? What was it like when you had those feelings? Like what were you thinking? What was your[inaudible]? So magically is how these things settle in our body. And that's how we get aches and pains and arthritis and carpal tunnel and cancer and stomach panic, attack, panic attack. But those, they manifest somatically in our body. So that's why I wanted to do this. So thank you for doing this with me. I love Laura. That was fast. That was fun. But talk for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm, I'm, I love you guys so much and I'm so happy to do this all the time with you guys. Uh, Laura is going to come back again. I'm not going to even ask. It's fun, right? It is fun. It's so easy because it's work. You know why it's easy. And I think, I feel like I like it so much just because I'm being free. I'm being me. Like I'm really trying to have a space to be authentically you and when you get that space, Oh my God, you feel so much better. And like I just want to bring up that way. I know where like over, but no, that's when you said, uh, you had like a little bit overwhelmed that you were, Oh my God, I'm not married and I want to say I had that recently, like a little bit because of what all the stuff I'm going through, like my houses, uh, in, uh, is being demolition and unexpectedly and all these other things are happening unexpectedly and I'm, I had a little bit of a panic attack because I'm like, I'm having to deal with this on my own. And uh, like big, you know, house issues and things like that. And I was like, I'm not married. I said that to myself. And then I was like, and then I was thinking, yeah, but if I was, I'm like, God, it'd be so no would be what was going on. You would be in the door, say would just add to it because it was just not, it was just not a good, like I hated it when people say, Oh, it's not a, this wasn't a good match. It was like more than that. You know, he had a personality disorder, but it also wasn't a good match. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? That's, you know, what you just did was you totally did the exact thing you thought about what your thoughts were. You forgave your thought and then you chose something different. Totally. See, and it works. I mean, it really works. So do it. Do it. Do it. And um, thanks for being here, Laura. Let's for, we're going to go watch you. If you haven't seen it, see it. Everybody's seen it except for me. I left out. Bye guys. Love you. Love you too. Bye. Bye.