Cocktales On the Rx
Cocktales On the Rx
Starting Over w/ Angelina On the Rx
Starting Over On the Rx with questions, ideas, concerns, lovers and friends. Angelina another one of my BFF's talks with me about womanhood, friendships, men, starting over and looking good to feel good.
spk_0: 0:00
Okay. Guess who's here? I have a special guest today or names. Angelina one of my B f f's Angelina and I go way back. How many years?
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Something around The nine year. She can't help it. Yeah, man. Angelina Whole
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foods I was going through. Believe it or not, I was separated before it was I filed legal separation because it was in that situation. I was really having a hard time. And I remember a scene. Angelina and I was like, Oh, she is what I used to be Before I was married, I was dressed up and I was dressed up that day
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looks amazing by the way I looked at her and she waas. She was She's a smoke show. It's really fine. You're in homes and everybody's a little granola. And then the two of us are just like clearly on the different Angelina's a a blonde bombshell instantly just have this amazing connection. And over the years we've had so many common things happen through our lives that you could come to me and I could come to you about. So I definitely think people meet each other for a reason because I was inspired by your energy and your optimism. And I knew you were going through something and it looked like it was definitely weighing on you. But at the same time, I felt like you still were determined to give your best to your marriage. And I respect that because a lot of people the second that, like, things start to go. So they're like, Well, I don't have any responsibilities. I don't have to be loyal. I don't have to do this. You still were, like, putting in the work, and I respect that. I think people give up way too easily in relationship way. Might have been in a different place, but I definitely respect that. You were, you know, you're on the fence. But I had so much optimism about
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your future. Yeah, And I thank you for saying them because when I met you, I felt I would come in and out of feeling good. I wasn't getting dressed up to leave. I wasn't leaving the house when I was on my period. I was like, dressed up and I got my hair and everything because I felt so icky. But I wasn't on my period. I felt confident. I was wearing sweats and a sweatshirt. You know, that's how I would feel on a daily basis. So for me to get out, go get dressed. For me, it was like, Wow, I really feel fucking bad today. But when I saw you
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and e really separated, divorced, divorced, I think I might know, I think
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signed in a signed paper and And you also going to Costa Rico with this guy. And I was just, like, so admired you because you were just living life, even though I felt like I was living life, even though you were at a different level. And I just I really respect that, you know? We need to give ourselves a break. I don't give myself a break about dating and not separated going through a divorce. And he's doing he wants. So why can't I don't know, but I do definitely need to give myself a break. But when the papers were signed, all bets, right? I'll be there,
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you'll be there. You have to do it. Like I think I said before. I just respect so much that you know yourself enough to know. I know that this is what I'm doing. Spending this time. I'm gonna wait until I'm divorced, and then I'm going to be open to You're a man of possibilities for me. I felt like I was unhappy for so many years, and I had been treated pretty badly. And on some occasions I have given everything. I met Costa Rica. I've got swept off my feet. It was a spiritual awakening for me here. I met this person who made me feel unconditional love. That relationship allowed me to have that where it didn't matter what I did, it was still okay. But I've been walking that make shells for years and years in my marriage. So I don't have any unfortunately filter. Like maybe I shouldn't get in a major relationship after being married for so long. I think this guy's amazing. And you know what? I've suffered enough. Yeah, I'm like Angelina. You suffered enough. You've given everything you can go house some fun in a fun we had. Yeah, I
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love I love that. That you were just so full of life and light and I looked to you for that now, more serious than it was then. That was just It's a legal separation. It's not a big deal. Yeah, it is different. I do kind of pull for her. Okay? Just go. Just go out with person. Asked me on a date. Then I'm like, No, I just want to focus on myself. I have a strong Catholic upbringing where, you know, both of my grand parents were together till the day they die. Beautiful. My mom and dad or they were always friends. There was always a community. They were community. And I feel like I can wait, because when I do have it, it's gonna be fucking amazing. And it's like you were in this place where your life was fucking amazing. You were going cans. I mean, how did you feel? Like what happened and by the way, really quickly before we go into that, because that's gonna be good stories. Did you always dress throughout your marriage or
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where we live? It's a very like casual, like any kind of environment. I'm very I'm a beach girl, 100% but I'm more elevated. I like to be polishing like I mentioned before. My grandmother was my inspiration. She was someone who was always put together and always had a face on it didn't matter. She was gonna be walking around the house in our house dress and it was a Saturday. She was cooking my chipping at Vitoria. She had lips gone. She had her hair done. And so for me, it was also her composure because she had been through some things in her life. She always held her come composure. She was always classy. She was always polished. She was always elegant into me. You know, I love that it was funny because my mom was like this wild haired, beautiful, vibrant rule breaker anarchist. I also drew from inspiration from her as well and the sense that I could get divorced because I knew what it was like to be on my own. And my mom was on her own and she made it. And I was like, Well, I wanted to be married forever. And, you know, like I said, I'm a better person because I was in that marriage. I met that person, but I think my mom and her free spirited and fierceness commission had you
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stand for yourself because you didn't. You said you were not treated very well
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know. And I think I gave everything I could give. But there is a certain line that got crossed at some point and someone said to me, He said, Angelina, when you're no longer concerned about finances, you're no longer concerned about what people are gonna think. You're just like, fuck it out. Just that's when you have. Because I had all these were my kids were young And where we gonna live, How my gonna How am I gonna like might have been protected and sheltered for so long financially and in this marriage, like then to go out and then I'm a single mom. That's the last thing I wanted was a single mother. Thank you very much. Not It's very hard. It's not glamorous. Yeah. Hats off, mate. Glamorous. I traveled, I shopped. I loved man Had amazing. Amazing.
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Yeah. And so in your marriage did you get dressed because I know you had said you would try everything You were trying to be that mom, stay at home,
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Mom. I was staying, Mom, and it's funny, like I drop my kids off at preschool one day, and this mom was like, Oh, where you going to school for me to wear? Like looking for a leg? Yeah, I would never laying before Never, ever wear shorts. I still worse once outside the house. But when you're dropping off everyone to school, everyone else wasn't for me, Partner, I love being a woman shot. And there's another thing. I was very unhappily married for a long time. And there's certain things that you can use as crutches to get yourself through minor shopping. It was one of them. I shopped and shopped in a shop, so I had the clothes it made me feel in Howard. And because my ex husband not someone that was happy, that I looked great after I had a baby. He was not happy that people like you look great. He didn't like that. So for me, it was a rebellion. You know what I am gonna look? I know you want to be the star of the show, but like I'm not trying to show you up. But he was like, you need to be a khaki pant wearing are visible. You work for me. Oh, my God. I'm so glad you said because that
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show time 20 times I'm not employed because that's how they treat you. I'm so glad you said that because it is true. It's
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Yeah, really, like, especially that certain type of man. Yeah, you're like, I want to take writing classes. My kids were in school. I was, like, during the day because I was a stay at home mom. And I felt blasters when the best things that ever happened to me during the day sometimes I had some opening some, like, I want to take a class. And he was like, If you're not doing something for this family, you're a bad mom, and I'm like, Well, I just want to take a writing. Mommy. All the mommies I knew were doing the pole dancing, and I felt left out. I didn't really feel like drawn to I wanted to do writing something like that. But he was totally against that. I had to be working for him.
spk_0: 9:32
Yeah, look back now and just think the fuck was I thinking or do I mean, I want to keep everything separate. Like what the fuck were you thinking? Isn't the same as I hated being with him. So make sure that you know, And I know you all know that whenever I talk about one specific thing, it's just that particular because I think there's a lot of break down Sometimes people did. You mean this know? Everything separate Whenever I say something about that particular you know, like where you look, you look back on those times where he was saying, you know, where you felt like Oh, you work for me. You look back and go. Oh, my God. Why didn't I say something? Because you are a pretty vocal person. You're very well spoken. It's hard to confront that because you're pulled into the lifestyle Cappie Band wearing
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that really before the baby was a goddess. Everything. And it was great. Giorgio put in the second. I had a child, everything changed every and it was in some Funny because I've talked to so many men have been divorced and they have the experience that I had. Where for them It waas as soon as the woman had a baby. The men get short changed. They don't get sex anymore. They don't get attention. Our and for me that was me. I didn't get sex anymore. I didn't get attention anymore. I didn't get acknowledged or support. Don't you get it? I
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get it. I feel the same in it. Could feel I remember feeling that distance. I wouldn't
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go a year without sex. I well, you know, kisses. Know how I got in months and I
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think that if I didn't initiate some of it, that's what it would have been for me. But I initiated a lot of a lot of love and kissing and hugging the infection. I remember Ace a kiss him and like, by the year or something and you go out so loud and I'm, like, really weird because, you know, any honestly, this is the first person that I've ever had an issue with that would've norm here in the beginning. Yeah, I moved to New York and way live there, and I got pregnant and he was still leaves. Two. Nice. That there was a lot of weird stuff that started happening by ignoring me or making me feel lack of intimacy, for sure So But me,
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I try to dress up and dress sexy, or I could walk across the room naked they wouldn't even look at from his little laptop, like the whole dressing up thing to say. I'm still here. Yeah,
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really? Because, you know, I remember I had a boyfriend I never having. And he would just grab me and start kissing me. And I was like, You get you get to be feminine
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and lovable. Turn on when somebody can't get enough of you and they just grab you and you like that turns you want. Even if you weren't in the mood in the mood like three minutes ago. Second year man starts doing that. You feel you want thio desired and sexy, and that radiates.
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Yeah, and that's what I love about being a woman. So I think back about my marriage. And a lot of times now, there was not any like, you look nice. Are like I said when I met you and I saw how beautiful and put together you were, too. I felt like I don't mean to like me. I was equal, but I wasn't. But at the time, you know, there was a failure. That Yeah. So when I saw you, it was really familiar to me that I was not living up to what feeling of being wanted. And
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you feel bad for the women that are going to be I don't know. I know.
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I'm sorry. I do not feel that. Especially for the ones that yeah, that word that, you know that that had ulterior motives are the ones he's in there. I'm not cheating. Really Well, are you doing business with them? And just whatever you're doing, something that has to do the betrayal or secrets or withholding from your wife, that's you're going to bed with that person. I'm sorry to me. That's that's it. But mean aware of this, your sexuality, I know you are. And I really love that because I really love being a woman, too. And I love that part about, you know, being tackled to the bed in a loving way, you know? And then there's something to be said about that I didn't get I didn't get that a lot after a night. You know, it's interesting because I wasn't married. I didn't want to get married. And when I did get married like Is this what marriage is supposed to be like Really? Because I didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so for you, you said you didn't. If you hadn't been divorced, you wouldn't have known unconditional love with Costa Rica. So did he do things like that?
spk_1: 14:10
Well, here's the thing. It wasn't a white picket fence relationship. It was very much I went from the white picket fence and I had all the things, you know. It's going to that, you know, looking good on the outside and feelings. Yeah, right. Cars We lived in the right neighborhood, Had a beautiful home. All these things Costa Rica was more of this wild rock n roll crazy. He lived in a different country. So for me, it wasn't like so what did he do for me? It was more off these moments where I remember one night we went out in L. A and and I had a couple too many drinks. And where he went, he was like, He's fucking fine. OK, so wait. We're always like flirting everywhere I went, I was 100% confident because that man, even though we had this very unconventional relationship, always made me feel like I'm with you on that. Just that And if we win, even hinted at flirting with him and I wasn't even near. I could see him just like No, no, no. Yes, yes. Even so, I was getting a little bit too tipsy. I was getting a little bratty that night, and I remember sort of gotten a little bit of an argument. I woke up the next day with him, and I was like, Oh, hey, hi, one too many of those cocktails and he's like, It's fine. No worries. It's fine. And I remember thinking, if I would have done that, are said that or not been perfect around my ex husband, he would have made me feel like shit for weeks. And I was like, Well, you know, a little He just wouldn't do amazing things like book trip, you know, we're going here, we're going there. Just maybe always feel beautiful, sexy. And he wasn't He had no problem with the fact that people would compliment me like my ex definitely wasn't a big fan. Me shining on with Costa. He was always about making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
spk_0: 16:08
Yeah, it sounds like he made you feel important, and he makes he made the women jealous of you rather than you being
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John. 100%. Yeah. So I like that. And there's so many cases, like so many little memories. I have
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where we were even when we're in
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Vegas, where crowds were just into him and he just being even though it was just like I said, an unconventional relationship, it was something where I was like, This is what I want some day in a marriage, you know,
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and see. So when your Syrian see that you're so lucky too, because it was after right after, you know? So that marriage is that you were in. I know you guys have a great relationship now, but great friends, when you're in that and you get that immediate
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validation and security, it builds you up. Yeah, Yeah,
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I think I think that we all I need that we really need to be around nine niceness.
spk_1: 17:01
That's why I say date. You know, I mean, not to you, but like people I like romantically, people would save me like it's too soon for you to date or I hear women say that other women I'm like, it's none of your fucking business. Yeah, that full year after you get divorced. No one should judge. Don't tell that person. Not today. Don't tell that person they drink too much. Let them do what they need. Thio. They have been in a happy marriage or whatever waas they need to just let the healing process happened. And if you want a date, just date, you know, just influence of other people.
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Yeah, and when there is wonderful, they got no, really, is that when you have that really good feeling, you know, from others. But then you also have the other huge intimate journal judgment committee. The people that do no wrong. I'm being very sarcastic. The people that will turn their back on you. You know, those people will show up. Just know that those are your people.
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That's conditional. Like their friendship
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there also close minded. No one was there in the relationship. It's nobody's business. But listen, one side. Sure. Fine. Listen to that side story you chose like cheating. It's a choice. There's some people that, you know, we walk around unconscious 10 I don't know. Well, that's what he told me. Well, you know what? I find out for yourself. There's a post that I have on my instagram by posted about the other woman. And it was something to the fact of, You know, if another man is talking to you about his wife or his woman, why don't you pick up the fucking phone and ask her how she's doing? Don't get in bed with her husband
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and she got taken by infighting and a woman. That's if he's opening his heart and he's confiding certain intimate things about his woman. Oh, that is a red flag. I have been trying to do that recently, and I'm sometimes they're trying to hit on you. And then, like, Oh, my girl, this is not gonna score you any points, buddy.
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But they do. This is a thing. Everybody, I really want to say This is some poor guy's think way. We're not stupid, but we go
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along with visit, thinking we're stupid or that they're stupid. That's stupid. They're like, Oh, my girlfriend or my wife treats you so bad and I never get laid that maybe that will endear if they're that stupid that they think a woman is gonna be a dear to that way exactly.
spk_0: 19:31
And that's that's a good point because it is true. I remember I asked me on a date. I went there and we were just We were talking and he asked, So what's your story? What's going on? I didn't say much because no one needs to know, especially stranger. But I said, how about you? And you just like full fucking left it on the table? Oh, my wife, This was still living together, but I was like, sitting there going. I was just imagining being in the position of listening to my husband Tell somebody a woman what he's
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saying is very what you went through. Yeah, must've just fucking baby. My love boy
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made my butt and I looked at him and I was like, Yeah, he should know something about that. But I said, I just wanna say something. This whole thing doesn't sound right to me, and I'm gonna tell you why. Because I don't know any woman that would continue to live in the same home as her husband, but allow him to go out and date because he was like, Oh, yeah, we're good. He she knows. Fuck that. I'm sorry, but it is not fucking dating. Anybody
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would know my says when I had issues, he would not be okay with me dating. No. You know, it's a respect issue. I don't believe their
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story. Yeah, so? So that sort of thing. I really believe that. They
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really think they're smarter and they kind of out because they were manipulated. Because they do. Yeah, they do. They try hard. Yeah. I
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mean, think about like, you know, my husband, Whatever he was doing for the past few years, I don't know what the fuck you doing. He always did. I do. Now, I think I D'oh, but
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like the whole Mary, I should. So you wake up. I
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always say there's degrees of cheating for sure, you know, happen to bed to me for cares, everyone we have vaginas. You know, you can you can get from anywhere, really, to be honest. But if you're confining another woman emotionally and you're confiding in them about your wife or your Children or your sharing video a fucking rich me apart part, it hurt me so bad. And so I feel like you know, those that's cheating. You're cheating when you're hiding. You're cheating when you're not telling me the intentions there are, You know you're married. Yeah. I mean, it's just bizarre. So, to me, that's why I say they're stupid in that way. I don't think that they're all stupid. I mean, I hate to say that cliche because I do love men. I think men
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are a lot of man. I am not a man
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here. No, not me, either. I love men. I think they're amazing. I think you need a king and a queen ways. But you're, you know, King and the King's that think they are not so a king that treats a woman with the utmost respect and loves her and tackles her to the bed and kisses her neck and asks gets their super chance of flu. Yeah. You know, you know, there's something to be said about putting yourself together every single day and just making it work. And I know that you do that, and I know that I do that. But you had told me something. I love this. I think I told you this the other day. We were dinner. I remember. I was like, I don't even know what day it is you like. You're so you have to go on days, and I was like, I don't even have a date and you told me about what to do. You remember that? Can you tell everybody what you say? Because I think it's It's so much Tell me a little bit about you, you know? So you said you said Okay, this is what you do. You get the cubist bag and you're a cute fact confined. If it's designer better, you said and put a pair of panties bro
spk_1: 23:11
ther overnight. I think the overnight bag It's crucial, I think, after the ink is dry. I think it is very important to do certain indulgent things for yourself. Shopping is important. For sure it's not a faction is not your thing. You need to have a fashionista friend with you. And, yes, the travel that overnight thing is it's exciting because when you are even for so long and you're out and about with someone new and you know to me, it's it's part of your job as a woman to present yourself in the best light. And so for me, I always had a travel bag. I always had it in my person. I have now. I picked me up from work. I still wanna look good. So I always do. I put some little essential oil on my grades just to make sure I still am presenting myself. But the overnight bag is important because when you're just starting dating, there's this wonderful freedom that, you know, you have that, you know, Are you going to sleep with this person are not going to and the fact that you finally have this freedom? I think it's good to be prepared. Yeah, you know, And the the indulgence and that wild. You don't know what's gonna happen. You go out to dinner with your girlfriends, who knows you're having a couple drinks, you meet some amazing sexy. It's funny and attentive. I mean, you just never know where it's gonna lead.
spk_0: 24:31
So it's important to people. You have to be prepared. That's why we have and leaving her. There are tips and favorite things. Yeah, I'm all about. So Angelina always has these great tips and products that she's tried. And I really trust that she knows what the fuck she's doing because always smells good. Always looks cute and beautiful. You see, a complimentary. I believe you know women need to support when we really need Thio build each other up, but the ones that turn their back on you, it's like I don't even feel like that about I feel sorry for
spk_1: 25:07
them. You know what I think that is? One of the things that hurt me the most in my divorce was not just the fact that I lost my marriage. It was that so many women, everybody wanted to come to my house and everybody wanted to be in my circle. And then so many of these women were still married, turned their back on me, and I knew that they were doing it because they were unhappy. But you know what really was a crazy thing. If people were upset that I wasn't distraught, people were kiss that. I was flying off to France and flying here, and they were pissed that I looked good and I was carrying myself like a happy, youthful, energetic woman they wanted me to be, and they were not happy about that. That's a really hard thing to deal with because you feel really alone.
spk_0: 25:54
Yeah, it's a really lonely place, but it's interesting, because when you when you're talking about how you know, they turn their back on you, it's really that they're not really I don't know what it is for them, but I could imagine and what it would be like for me if I saw somebody, you know, all dressed up, that is going through a divorce, which it's separate because you're trying to feel good inside. People don't realize that. So it's now when I look at a woman that's just recently divorced. Looks great. I look in my eyes. Really, She's really trying hard because she probably does not feel at her 100% and
spk_1: 26:30
not Maybe she is like fuck it. I'm gonna be happy. That's what I was like. I was unhappy for so long. So for me, it was like, Yeah, I'm gonna be happy. Yeah, so I'm not gonna lose myself. It was like Fuck it. I deserve to be happy. So I'm gonna be sexy. Yeah, I'm gonna be a sexual happy, empowered woman, even if it makes other
spk_0: 26:50
people uncomfortable. Yeah, you have to be you. You have to be you. Yeah, definitely have to be. And that's that's a lot could be a pirate of things. Why they do what they do or why we do what we do, get dressed up and feel good about ourselves. But that is half the battle for me. I really believe that that help me get through just looking good feeling It's smelling not a happy time, but push through. And I don't like the fact that that women other women are some women will
spk_1: 27:15
judge you based on that. This town is one of the worst times to get divorced because I think half of the women are. You know, either they're married to Rich dork, and they're literally unhappy like they're unhappy. I think, really, if you're truly happy, you want to see other people. Yeah. So when people were doing that, be weird around me all of a sudden that birthday parties for the kids, like the dads, weren't allowed to talk to me, and the moms were suspicious of me. I'm like, which I don't want your domesticated hot, fine man, right? But it was like they treated differently. I knew in my head so that it had to do that. My mom always said, Angelina, there's always gonna be women out there. Girls don't say there's always gonna be girls that are taller or prettier or whatever, but there's not gonna be another you. Yeah, And it's when I got divorced, I leaned on that guy. Sounds like you know what this has to do with them. They're not happy anymore. I mean, I had friends come back to me. Yeah, I'm sorry that we kind of, you know, lost touch. I'm like, which we didn't lose touch. It just never talked to me again because I was like, I was flying to France and meeting. That's amazing, man, that I was involved with the time and you were jealous. Let's just call it. What? Yeah, because you were still with this guy who never has sex with you. Whatever. This one person I'm thinking that she was with somebody would never like you choose to stay, and I'm not gonna judge you, but they don't judge me. Yeah, you know.
spk_0: 28:42
Yeah. It is hard to space where you don't feel like you gotta go out every single day and be this Petey a way acronym for that. I know. Yeah, it's really hard. And I thank you so much for coming and talking about this and I want to come back. Laura had more here. I love you. She is gorgeous. Yeah, you're just one of your friends. Thank you. I feel like the women that I have around me are so is special and important to me because we inspire one another. Yeah, percent don't talk. You know about like, look at that. There's no competition. No, there is not in your right. Exactly. There is not gonna be. There's never another one of you. And for all of you guys out there, there's never gonna be another one of you. So be invest you. Yeah, if someone is if your if your husband, let's just say, leaves you for someone else. It's not that they're better than you. They're just different Are they just are easier to, you know, get over on. Because he's not gonna go with someone else and do everything different. Know you. They just don't. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I mean, it's just maybe
spk_1: 29:52
someday someone doesn't want you in your life for me. I've always really I've articulated to people I've been in a relationship with where I literally tell him in the beginning relationship If you come to a apart, gnarly shit where you want to break up, Just tell me. Yeah, For me at the door is right there. You want to go? I don't know. You stay and you lie. And you, Whatever it is like don't waste my time because I need
spk_0: 30:18
I think that's why was the most upset is because you know, he there was time. We said, You know, after me after my kids before me, after my kids were born, is when I start. This is what I'm talking about. Mostly I don't regret that and I don't regret meeting him. I don't regret that because we did have a love that floor. But then, you know she
spk_1: 30:40
had beautiful Children. You have a happy family. It doesn't. I think there is a famous person. I won't name it, but he said, you know, do you think of your divorce is a failure And he said no. And that resonated with me because I don't regret my marriage to my Children's father at all. No. And and I don't think you should do that with relationships, because if you're in a relationship and you're not learning growing, you know, having amazing things happen, then. Okay, so maybe you're wasting your time. You know, you really honor that. That was a time in your life. And that's who you were. Yeah. And there was there was value to that
spk_0: 31:17
journey. Yeah, I agree. I really do. I don't regret have any regrets at all. That's part of the journey. So when you go through the journey, make sure you look good because you
spk_1: 31:28
really want And don't give them your power. Now you give them your power. Don't let them see you cry. Sorry, people. When you're gonna divorce, don't let them see you cry. Yeah. Don't let him to see you destroy. They don't need to know. Yeah, because then you some of the sick bastards out there get some satisfaction out of that. They do. So just, you know, pull yourself up, put some lipstick on on. Just get out into the world and say, said, Levy, what's the quote? There's nothing you can't accomplish with air holes for Chevron.
spk_0: 31:57
Okay, so thank you so much for being here, and you have to come back and visit will you come back and visit? Visit? Officiate our sharing on our conversation. I value your sisterhood. Thank you. I really love you. You're my soul sister. If anybody has any question for Angelina website or
spk_1: 32:15
any questions, you can definitely help. You was starting over. Yeah, definitely. Love you guys. Bye.