Cocktales On the Rx
Cocktales On the Rx
Intuition
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So, hi babes. We're back. And tonight I'm here with Laura again. Yay! She came back. I didn't scare her off. Laura has brought us some wine tonight. So we are drinking. I'm drinking a red cab, a velvet moon. It's really good.
SPEAKER_02And uh I'm having uh I think it's red, it's Considino, and it's a Pinot Grigio with bubbles. It's a sparkling Pinot Grigio, which is very new. Yeah. It's not like Prosecco. It's not that.
SPEAKER_01Prosecco's so dry, don't you think?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, this is this is really good for Trader Joe's. Yeah, I like it. Trader Joe's.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. I shopped there. What I I love Trader Joe's for a lot of things, mainly like fruit and vegetables, because if you go fruit like at another place, it's like totally, I don't know, sprayed with toxins or probably poison.
SPEAKER_02We're finding out all this stuff now, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So tonight we're talking about intuition and the dangers of not listening to our intuition. So this is danger on the rocks.
SPEAKER_02I love it. Um I mean I'd dangerous. I love your intuition. I love talking about intuition.
SPEAKER_01I do too. You know why I love talking about it? Because I don't listen to it, which sounds kind of hypocritical, but it's really like I really do go against myself. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think we all do. We all do. We all do. I think that's something that we have to watch out for because we're often told you're being paranoid, or we tell each other that as women. Like we say, oh, you're you're overthinking this, you're overanalyzing this, you're maybe you're just being paranoid, or you know.
SPEAKER_01I've never said that to a woman that she's paranoid or she's overthinking. I I listen, I don't always believe it. Like you and I were talking the other day when you were when I was telling you about what I was going through, you were like, I'm to be really honest. Because you know, we have to, and I there's not many people that I could be honest with. And that's why Laura's here with us, because she is honest. I can say to her, no, I don't want to do that, or I can say, you know, I don't like, I don't like that you said this, which I never really have, I never really have, but I know that if I did say that, it wouldn't be a problem. You'd be like, oh, I'm sorry, honey. So thank you for being that friend because there's not a lot of people you can do that with. You know that. Yeah. And you're so on, you're like so honest. I'm a little too honest sometimes. No, but I think there needs to be more of that because of what we were talking about. Doing life with a relationship or with the and not only a love relationship, a friendship, a family relationship, yeah, family, a brother, a brother, sisters, your mom, yeah, our moms.
SPEAKER_02Love you, mama. Love you. Our moms have the same birthday, so yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I I think with the whole intuition and relationships, we don't listen to the the first time that it's we're we're feeling like uh, you know what, this isn't right. I shouldn't be here. I really don't like this, I don't like the way this feels. And I love how you're always like, yeah, it's kind of weird that you're doing, you know, that you know, people do that.
SPEAKER_02That's that's that's kind of weird. And it's like, um, yeah, but we do it anyway. We do it anyway, and I think everyone feels it like differently. Some people call it spidey senses, some people get a tingling, some people feel it physically, I think, and some people feel intellectually.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So some people feel like a tingling sensation in their body, and then some people are like, wow, this sounds so weird. Yeah. Like what? And they can't make sense of it. And you try to make sense of your relationships.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and the reason why we're having this conversation, and I I was like, Laura, we have to do a podcast on this right now, because she came over, we're having a girl's night, and Laura, if you don't mind me saying you were saying how like you haven't watched TV because you've been inundated with school and doing your thing. Yeah, really busy. So just by chance, I had started watching this show, you and so that's how it came up. I I was like, oh my god, I was watching this show, and it was insane how the guy, the narcissist, you could see the thoughts were behind what he does and how he does it and why he does it, and how he feels about it. It's such a great show. That's why we're talking about it here because I said, Oh, we have to watch it. Because be but before I said that, we had like a 20-minute conversation.
SPEAKER_02Right, right. We we had a big conversation about trusting your intuition and really picking up on what your body and your mind is saying to you when the evidence in front of you doesn't match up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it does, and then we do it again and again. It's not because you said this earlier, that was really good. It's not because men don't lie to us to protect us.
SPEAKER_02No, they don't.
SPEAKER_01And I said they do it to protect them, and we were we were both on the same page with that, but it really has to do with us more. We feel it, but it's like that we make them think that they're smart because we know, we know when that intuition feeling comes up, and you know something doesn't feel right and they're lying to you, you know it, but you're like, okay, uh, it's not that bad, or maybe Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, we we really downplay the signals that we're getting. Yeah, we're getting the signals. That's huge. You know, we're we're receiving signals all the time from other people, whether it's energy. So, you know, like we vibe off energy, so how's it gonna be? Right? Yeah, it's so true. Are you gonna give me some bad, you know, false energy? Yeah, and then I'm gonna feel that, and then I'm gonna be like, wow, this doesn't match up. Yeah, what you're saying and what you're doing doesn't match up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. When I when I had my one of my lawyers who I love very much, she had to I was so paranoid going in there, and I was like, and this, and this, like, and she's like, just it's okay, just we're gonna we're gonna catch up, we're gonna find everything. But I know this, I knew this, and she said, and I said, but he's not, he's saying it's not true. And she said, listen to me. If you think it, it's happening. So I want everybody to know man, woman, if you think something's wrong, something's wrong. And I just posted this on my story about how it's dangerous to fuck with emotions, like your own. And I know I've screwed with my own emotions. And I shouldn't, like, we would we just shouldn't. We we sacrifice so much for somebody who's kind of an idiot. I don't know. I'm sorry, but if someone is gonna think that they're smarter than you and try to bring you a fucking Excel spreadsheet to prove that they're not cheating on you anymore, you know, and here's what we have on the that like that's a sign. That's a sign, that is weird, okay?
SPEAKER_02It is weird, and you know what's really weird is that it's happened more than once to more than one woman, yeah, or person. Okay, it's weird.
SPEAKER_01That is okay. This is interesting because you know how I always I've always said, like, there's gotta be some playbook. Like, where's the map? They all have this master playbook. Oh, yeah, you always said that. Okay, but get this it's not about a master playbook, they all have a fucking personality disorder, and that's how people with personality disorders act.
SPEAKER_02That's how they operate, and that's not to say that we're not saying everybody has a personality disorder. We're saying We do.
SPEAKER_01I mean, we're all pretty much narcissists. We have to be at some degree, but there's the the intentional, hurtful, mean the ones that we I would like to wipe clean and go, listen, you guys, the fucking gig is up or the jig is the jig is up. The gig and the jig. And the jig is up. We we got you all both. Exactly. So get some fucking help. Yeah, I don't know if they will, but it doesn't matter. The the point the point is there has to be some sort of attention to it. Attention, you know. Do you remember what I was saying earlier about we don't say anything about how when we're dealing with this person? Okay, one thing is you're in your community, going through a divorce, this shit hits you like a betrayal, right? Slap it in the all of a sudden it's like you go to the market and you don't want to go to the market because you feel like shit, but you haven't been out of the house in weeks. So when you go to the market and someone's like, Oh, hey, how are you? You're like, I'm good. How are you? Yeah, there you go. Exactly. We have to say no. I'm so happy to see you because you're such a good friend, or we need to ask for help. And it's hard, it's the hardest thing to do because it's like you were saying earlier about being frowned upon.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we're set up in life in our culture. Our culture is to make sure everything's fine, and we see that so much on social media. How everyone wants to paint this picture of this perfect life, and it's very curated and cultivated, and then you've got those wild cards that are really telling you the truth. And some people think they're like a total like they're out there, they're out of control, but they attract the most people because they're very authentic. Yeah, so that's probably why you're attracting so many people to your own Instagram, is because it's relatable. Yeah, there's no space for anyone to be authentic about how they're really doing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's important. And I I've always said that since I was young. I don't I was always in our anti-bullying program in high school. Like I protected, you know, the uh handicapped kids and I would play with them on the court, and my mom used to get letters, and I mean I used to stick up for them and fight for them. And I was always like, you know what? There's no reason to be mean. So when so when that came up for me later on in life, that that I would say that is what came up for me from my childhood. You don't have to be mean, like that's not okay. But our culture is saying no, it's okay because they don't know. Yeah, you know, no, they do, they do know. And and and if maybe if they let's just say they don't know, I know. Exactly. Yeah, and I so I've always done that. I've been in the community and family facilitator for anti-bully program, and I just think that I've always been that person. So when it came in front of me dealing with a bully, who's telling me that I'm a bully, and I'm like, oh, I don't know. No, I feel like I stand up bullies, but no, it doesn't feel right, but I just kept going. That that didn't sit right with me, and then it and it won't.
SPEAKER_02I I think that we have sort of an internal like emergency break. Oh, that's I think you know, it can't go on that you can't go on with inauthenticity, you know, forever. You just can't. No, it will, you know, all as much as you try to not listen to the voices or feel the things, they come out in other ways. Yeah. And that's when you get like addiction and people doing all these other things because they're not facing what's in front of them and what's real and what's true.
SPEAKER_01And I was always raised that way. My my family, they we all laughed about at ourselves and each other. And so when you when you go into another family dynamic and you're not feeling those good feelings that you had before, and you ignore that, something's wrong. Like, you know, we need to start saying, This doesn't feel right, not necessarily confront, but protect. We need to protect each other as women and men. I protected, I protect my boys, my husband, I protected him. But lo and behold, I found out that that's all he's been doing is talking shit about me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which, you know what, I don't care because I would do it anyway, whether he is who he is. I'm just that person. I'm a protector.
SPEAKER_02You're loyal to your family, you know. You you're you're supposed to be a house with walls and windows. I like that windows for people to look in, but walls to keep around your family to keep them protected. When you let someone into your house that's not part of your family, you know, and then you go off in some other room and there's no windows. Oh, you know, that's kind of how like you know, affairs start, when they start having side conversations with other people, when you start doing that kind of thing, and you you're you've got some issues that you haven't resolved, and you're wanting attention and you don't even know how to communicate it. And this is why we get to where we get because we're not talking about real feelings, real issues together or with our friends, so that we can like stop this quickly. We're just pretending everything's fine.
SPEAKER_01Like pulling the emergency breakup, like you said. Like there was a time I remember when I was probably about 16. I was in this car with my boyfriend, and my cousin was in the back. She wasn't a cousin, like a first cousin, she was like a second or third cousin. I remember seeing my boyfriend looking at her through the rear view mirror. I was a little bit like, what? No, that's not. I'm just Samantha. I can't be seen. This is can't be true. Right. It was the weirdest thing because it was on a weekend, and then that Monday I went to school, one of the kids was like, Oh, you know, did you know that your boyfriend slept with your cousin? I was like, Oh my god. Yes, I did know that. So I knew it was gonna happen. But my point being is at 16, we tell your daughters, because at 16, we have an intuition, we know we what we're seeing, and then we talk ourselves out of it. And that has a lot to do with, you know, naturally, it's uh it's a scary thing to be a mother because you you have to protect, you have to make, you know, our kids are an extension for some. You know, they're extension of parents, and not that they are, because I don't think they are. No, they're separate little people. Yeah. Think of them as little people. Yeah, and they're the best, they're the best people because they're the closest to being born, you know, and into this awful world.
SPEAKER_02This really interesting time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02May you always live in an interesting time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's true. And I and I am I've recently been, and I I never thought I would say this, but I've recently been grateful for what's happened because of where I am now. Like I'm really, really happy. Do you remember I texted you that picture today?
SPEAKER_02We're like gesturing at each other. You can't see it. We're like, we're like, yes, pretty soon you'll be able to see the tapes.
SPEAKER_01It's okay.
SPEAKER_02Yes. It's there's a lot of people. Remember when I texted that picture? Yeah, and I was like, I think I would You're so happy. Yeah, yeah. And when you move on from something that you know now you're aligned with your actions, your words, and your feelings, your intuition, you're aligned with everything. And so now you feel light, and you know, you can just take on what's coming at you. You can see it when you honor your intuition, when you honor what's going on with you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and there's there's a couple things that I've been really in tune with, and that's noticing the thoughts that come up around the mind, you know. My mind saying, Oh my god, I miss him. Um, this is so sad. If you really sit down in the thick of it and think about what you went through, what you did, what he said, how he treated you, you don't miss that.
SPEAKER_02Oh no.
SPEAKER_01So that's the mind, the mind, the monkey mind that's saying that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, do you did you ever explain monkey mind to people?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01I just said it for the first time.
SPEAKER_02But you know what it is, right? It's a Buddhist thing. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. It's uh, you know, where your mind just jumps from one branch to another, and it's it's very hard for you to focus. And it's usually when it's something distressing happens, you can't get the quiet.
SPEAKER_01And so that, and sometimes like a crisis, like a divorce or a bad breakup, you know, especially with teenage girls, kids, I mean, it's very challenging to see the like the end result, even as an adult, even for me, it was so when I I try to think about okay, why why am I thinking this? Why why would I why would I miss that he did this, this, and this and made me feel this, this, and this? Okay, then then I can try to center and say, okay, that's not real. Like that's just the monkey mind, or that's me, that's the habit, or yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know what? Like, this is part of the process. Yeah, okay, for sure. This is part of the process. You your mind, when you are confronted with actions and words that don't line up, your mind has to process that and it goes over the same things over and over again until you you've you're ready to move on and release it. And it's really part of the divorce process because I remember being in that place. And I so I can sit here and I can empathize with you, and I can totally remember that, but I don't experience that at all whatsoever anymore. So there's light at the end of the tunnel. And if you would have told me this and I was in your place, I wouldn't have believed you because it happened so often and it was so painful.
SPEAKER_01And you know what? You're right. Thanks for saying that because there's stages, right? Like I'm at this, the beginning, beginning of finally starting to feel a little bit better. But today I will say I was in line at the with my daughter getting her dress, and I all of a sudden it's just like an overwhelming, I got really hot and like perspiring, and I was like, oh my god, I I don't have a husband. Like, I'm it's weird. It wasn't like I felt like it was just scary, almost like a panic attack. Yes, yes, and then I was like, but wait, I get to go home and just be by myself and do what I want to do and not be thrown all over the place. Not thrown physically, I mean thrown like did you do that, or did you do this, or you know, that mentality overload relationship is what I like to call it. So I I've tried to redirect the energy, like you were saying, more energy, right? Redirect the energy from you know, thinking of where the thought come comes from. And then once I had that thought, I started panicking, and I was like, okay, wait, I gotta just calm down.
SPEAKER_02So I have to like forgive myself for that overwhelming panic that I bring on myself because it's well, we all do, like I said, it's a process, and I'm sure like everyone that's listening can totally relate to it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I didn't know I if you if I could not have this conversation about this three months ago, I would not have been thinking that I just would think it's his fault. I can't believe he's done this. Oh yeah. That's what I'm trying, but like it's not like it's it's always we're moving every single day. If you keep moving and know that you're gonna be okay and have and try to quiet your mind. Think about where you are and where you were. Oh my god. I mean, depending on you know, where you are and where you were, it's it could be different for everybody, you know. Where you were and where you are now is much different than where I am now from where I was for everybody. Yeah, but my point is we're all like in different stages, and I want to just like I want people to start talking about the stage they're at because that's the we need to normalize we need to normalize this like and take the stigma away from being in this that success for people is not a marriage and two kids.
SPEAKER_02That is not the definition of your personal success, right? It does not make you who you are, right? And so there's a you know, because we we put in this marriage supremacy, we've you know made it kind of feel shameful and stigmatic to talk about the realities of what happens when you're no longer united with that person.
SPEAKER_01I really love that you said that because that is that is true. It's like the whole, oh well, I'm gonna grow up and marry and I'm not gonna get divorced, but it's just not, it's not sure.
SPEAKER_02It could be, but it's it could be, and it's totally fine if that's what you want. And but it doesn't, you know, that's separate from you being a success or a failure in life, you know, and it's something that as we teach our our our girl children, we really, really put it out there, land on sick, that you know, the ultimate would be to marry a prince, you know, and Disneyland have heirs. Cinderella, why I mean all of that. So We really we do a number on ourselves and our and our girls and we tell them this, you know, this is the ultimate. Being becoming a princess is the ultimate thing. Yeah. But it doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't. No. And and it's great that the culture is changing and shifting. And we're talking about women being being an entrepreneur that's the success. Being peaceful in where you are. You know, running your own company.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, being like well, like us. Where you are now from where you were. You're peaceful. Exactly. That's your success. Mine is absolutely the success of I am where I am now. I made it through. Yeah. You made it through. A lot of us make it through. And that's why I love the Instagram because there's so many women out there that are on my Instagram that are so fucking smart, so have been there, done that, and they're on there and they're helping other women and they're helping me. It's important to have those mentors, like you were saying, yeah mentors and be a mentee.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Like having someone that's walked this path before you to look forward to.
SPEAKER_01And then you can choose again. You can choose something different than what you have in the past. And I think that that's that's like the big takeaway is like you can notice your thought, forgive your thought, and then choose again. And just keep choosing, but keep choosing you, you know. Don't choose for someone else. And if you if anyone wants to know what that looks like, you can DM me, you can leave the link in the bio. And I mean, because this was so important for me to I don't know why it just was like, I Laura, we have to do it. We have to do this right now. Because it was so fresh. And sometimes I feel like I have content that I want to talk about, so I write notes down, but two days later, I don't feel the same way. You know what I mean? So yeah, that's interesting. So I feel like, yeah, I'll wait till you know something comes up. And I so I like to do things in the moment and and just be real about everything. And and trust me, the woman at the market that you haven't seen in two months, and you've thought, wow, that's kind of weird. I haven't seen her and her husband. I wonder if if you're thinking it, it's happening. Just hey, how are you? I think you said that, yeah. Like, wouldn't you check in with me? Yeah, just checking in.
SPEAKER_02Just checking in. How's your day? Like, when you don't hear from your friends and you know that they're going through stuff, they are having a hard time asking for help or reaching out because we've set it up that way. So let's set it up a different way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and so when we set it up, it's like we do it to ourselves because like I feel I need, oh, I don't wanna, yeah. I don't wanna bother them. Yeah. Even when you you check in with me.
SPEAKER_00I know. I already know this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I still am like, yeah, I do it anyway. Like I really want to sit there and like go off and go, this is what's happening. But then I feel like I don't want to be that person that is always complaining or but but then we have to think. You're being asked for a reason. So when people reach out to you, accept the help. And then when you reach out to someone, just know that it's it's not that they're not responding because they don't want to talk to you about it, it's just because I think it's still painful.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's it is painful sometimes, and sometimes and sometimes you want to be by yourself in it. Oh, yeah, and really pro and that's just part of the process too. Yeah, it's just so that's totally like okay, and it's totally part of the process to sit with yourself and your feelings, and that's good because you've been with someone and kind of relying on them for so long to like talk about stuff that you forget how to rely on yourself. Yeah, and so it's really important to have that time too, and to like really like you know, look inward and say, look inward and not overanalyze, but like look inward and just calm yourself down, like you said, forgive yourself, calm yourself down, and step back into your intuition because the closer you get to listening to yourself and your own intuition, the further away you will get from people that have personality disorders that are harmful to you. Yeah. And that's like what I really learned about intuition going forward is the time speeds up where you can really see who someone is when you start listening to yourself more.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And and you when you stop to think about, you know, what why am I thinking this? Well, you're thinking this because this happened and this happened and it didn't feel right. So, what are you gonna do now? Well, I have to forgive myself for not doing something about that. But I need to make a different choice, you know. So it's kind of really important to me to to get the message out that way because in life, it's such a it life is really beautiful. I mean, if you think about all the things, nature and everything. I mean, people, I love people. I always curious about what people are doing or you know, who they are. And I think that if we can get more connected to each other in in a in a way that we can communicate honestly and authentically, especially women, yeah, like we would it would be such a a beautiful place. Like I think the inst my Instagram is like such a beautiful place because I feel like there's just just this big, it's like a big, huge rose garden of women and men who are protecting each other because we just men don't protect women anymore. And women need to protect each other, and we have to protect ourselves. And these three steps will really help start to protect yourself and remind yourself who you are, where you came from.
SPEAKER_02Like your intuition is your emergency, your internal emergency break. It is the thing to tell you, hey, stop, look, listen. You know, yeah, and maybe you can take that if you have children, take that to your children and talk to them about intuition and say, your intuition is a little voice in your head that says, stop, look, listen.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and don't, and and I want to stress this so much. I don't want to say don't, but I want to stress so much that when a child or a friend or somebody comes to you and says, you know, I've been I've been having these weird thoughts or these weird feelings, even though you want to push them away from yourself, because I know I've done that when I've had these thoughts, I'm like, oh, I don't want to think that, I don't want to think that. So if somebody comes to me and says it, I'm like, oh, well, just be positive. Just try to get over it. Be positive. No, you have to say, yeah, what was it like? What was it like when you had those feelings? Like, what were you thinking? What was stomach hurting? Because somatically is how these things settle in our body, and that's how we get aches and uh pains and arthritis and carpal tunnel and cancer and stomach panic attacks, panic attacks, but those they manifest somatically in our bodies, so that's why I wanted to do this. So thank you for doing this with me. I love Laura. Uh that was fast. That was fun. We talked for a long time. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and I love you guys so much, and I'm so happy to do this all the time with you guys. Laura's gonna come back again.
SPEAKER_00I'm not gonna even ask her because she's coming back. Okay, it's fun, right?
SPEAKER_01It is fun, it's just we it's so easy, and we took because it's we're you know why it's easy, and I think I feel like I like it so much, is because I'm being free.
SPEAKER_02I'm being me, like I'm really you finally have a space to be authentically you, and when you get that space, oh my god, you feel so much better, right? And like I just want to bring up that what I know we're like over, but no, it's when you said you had like a little bit of overwhelm that you were, oh my god, I'm not married, not married, and I want to say I had that recently, yeah, like a little bit because of what all the stuff I'm going through. And right my house is in a is being demolitioned and unexpectedly, and all these other things are happening unexpectedly, and I'm I had a little bit of a panic attack because I'm like, I'm having to deal with this on my own. Yes, I can't do that. And uh like big, you know, house issues and things like that. And I was like, I'm not married. I said that to myself, and then I was like, and then I was thinking, yeah, but if I was, oh my god, it would be so it'd be worse.
SPEAKER_01You wouldn't know what'd be what was going on, you would be in the dark.
SPEAKER_02It's so it would just add to it because it was just not, it was just not a good, like I hated it when people would say, Oh, it's not a this wasn't a good match. It was like more than that, you know. He had a personality disorder, but yeah, it also wasn't a good match.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, yeah, and you know what? That's you know what you just did was you totally did the exact thing. You thought about what your thoughts were, you forgave your thought, and then you chose something different. Totally, see, and it works. I mean, it really works, so do it, do it, do it. And thanks for being here, Laura. Let's we're gonna go watch you. Yes, if you haven't seen it, see it.
SPEAKER_02Everybody's seen it, and except for me, I'm gonna talk about and left out. Bye, you guys. Love you, love you too.
SPEAKER_01Bye bye,